Become a Confident English Speaker | Practical Strategies
Speak Confident English
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n83x5g8pQk

Transkript (automatisch erstellt)

0:00 My students are often surprised when I tell them that speaking with clarity, fluency and confidence did not come easily for me. Yes,
0:09 I'm a native English speaker and yes, I am an English teacher with more than 25 years of experience and my
0:16 expertise is in gaining fluency, but that doesn't mean those skills came naturally to me,
0:24 not in my second language and not in English. Have you ever thought, I am just too shy to speak with confidence,
0:32 or I can never be confident like somebody else? Or maybe you've listened to someone else and thought, oh, she speaks so fast,
0:41 she's so fluent. Why can't I do that? Or if I slow down, I'll sound less fluent. My coworkers will be bored. I have to speak faster.
0:51 They must think I'm foolish or silly for forgetting the word I wanted to use and getting stuck. It was so simple.
0:58 I have had all of those thoughts in my second language and in English, but then I discovered that all of those beliefs,
1:08 those things I was telling myself were myths. A myth is a false belief.
1:16 When I discovered what is true, it completely changed my mindset. It changed my approach to learning,
1:24 my motivation to practice and my ability to make progress in my speaking. Most importantly, it gave me confidence,
1:33 the confidence to keep going. This is true in my second language and in my native language,
1:40 English as well. In this lesson today, I want to help you become a Confident English speaker by addressing what is
1:48 myth versus reality and giving you practical action steps you can take to make progress in your English confidence and fluency.
2:10 But quickly, if this is your first time here, welcome. I'm Annemarie, an English confidence and fluency coach.
2:17 Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your life and work in English.
2:23 If you'd love to get more free resources and lessons from me, including years of my weekly Confident English lessons,
2:30 you can find them all at my Speak Confident English website. While you're there, make sure you download my in-depth,
2:36 How to Get the Confidence to Say What You Want, training. This is a step-by-step training where I share with you my number one strategy
2:45 for fluency and confidence building. Now for this lesson today, there are five common myths about fluency and confidence that I want to
2:54 address and I want to highlight what is true so that you can make progress and move forward because when we believe in myths false
3:04 beliefs, they stop us from making progress and it doesn't have to be that way.
3:10 So by understanding what is true and having practical action steps, you can move forward. Here are the five myths we're going to talk about today.
3:19 Number one, some people are naturally confident speakers. Number two, fluent English is always fast English.
3:28 Number three, confident speakers never need to seek clarification. Number four,
3:35 confident speakers never experience setbacks and they don't really make mistakes. And number five, you either have confidence or you don't.
3:46 So myth number one, some people are naturally confident speakers. This is a myth I believed for years because my husband is an
3:57 extrovert who seems to feel totally comfortable speaking with anyone, and he always appears confident this is true in English and in his second
4:07 language. It used to make me so jealous, but it doesn't anymore. Like me,
4:13 you might believe that some people like extroverts are naturally confident when they speak because of some of their personality traits.
4:24 Extroverts are often described as individuals who are outgoing, energetic, and conversational, and because of that myth,
4:32 there might be another myth which is that introverts can't be confident when they're speaking with others.
4:41 Introverts are often associated with personality traits such as being shy, reserved, and withdrawn, but that isn't always the case.
4:49 There are plenty of introverts who love being around people and feel very comfortable in some contexts.
4:56 The difference is introverts prefer to think before they speak, whereas extroverts think by speaking out loud.
5:06 Furthermore, the reality is introverts can absolutely be fully
5:12 confident, fully fluent, and speak with exceptional clarity in any situation.
5:20 I know that's true because I am highly shy and highly introverted, and I work with many students from around the world who similarly
5:30 in their native and non-native languages are shy and introverted, and yet they develop the same skills.
5:38 I want to help you develop in having clarity, fluency, and confidence, so here's a practical approach to help you speak with confidence
5:47 no matter what the situation might be. Use your natural skills as an introvert to your advantage. Now,
5:55 you might not be an introvert in your native language. That might not be your true personality. However,
6:02 you might be experiencing some of that in English due to anxiety when you want to speak, and the advice that I'm going to share,
6:11 it applies in both contexts. The natural ability here is to take advantage of thinking
6:19 before you speak, by giving yourself time or taking advantage of the time you have,
6:26 you're able to organize your thoughts and be more prepared to share them with others, to share them with confidence.
6:35 This is a skill used by all powerful public speakers, including many who are introverts. Now,
6:42 here's how you can practice this in real life when you can and if you can always take time to prepare or organize your thoughts in advance.
6:52 What this means is taking time to think through whatever discussion you're going to have,
6:58 maybe put down some notes on a piece of paper and talk through them out loud. Practice saying them out loud so that you get comfortable with your voice and
7:07 with the words that you're going to use. Doing this in advance means you're able to express those thoughts and organize
7:15 them without judgment from anyone else. You have that time to think before you speak. This is helpful. For example,
7:23 if you're preparing for a job interview or if you are going to a meeting of some kind, and you know what the topic of discussion will be in advance,
7:32 whether it's a business meeting, a volunteer meeting, or a book club discussion. Now if it's in the middle of a conversation,
7:41 you can also pause briefly in order to take advantage of those little moments in time to organize your next thought.
7:51 Don't try to plan the next 20 minutes of what you want to say. Just plan the next thought and then the next one and the next one and
8:00 the next one. This approach encourages you to embrace little
8:06 pauses while you speak, moments that allow you to breathe, moments that allow you to organize that next idea and it takes the
8:15 pressure off. Now, if you are worried that using a pause while you speak so that you have that
8:22 time to think, you can use a phrase to buy yourself some time.
8:28 For example, just give me a moment to think or can you come back to me in a moment?
8:33 I just need a moment to think about this right now, you might be thinking two things. Number one, Annemarie,
8:40 we don't always have time to prepare, and number two, I'm not sure pauses are going to help me.
8:47 They're going to make me speak too slowly. I'm going to talk about both of those. Number one, you're right,
8:54 we don't always have time to prepare, but we have more opportunities than you think,
9:00 and when you practice speaking regularly, including moments when you are simply practicing to prepare,
9:09 it helps you become a better spontaneous speaker as well. I have a particular method that I love to use with my students to help them in
9:18 this process so that they're able to gain increased confidence and fluency in their speaking. If you'd love to get that in-depth training,
9:26 you can find it at my Speak Confident English website. It's called How to Get the Confidence to Say What You Want in English.
9:34 I'll share a link to it down below this video, and now let's talk about that second fear that pauses are going to make you
9:41 sound slow. This brings me to myth number two. Fluent speakers are always fast speakers without a doubt.
9:49 This is a common misconception and unfortunately it's perpetuated by English speaking TV shows and sitcoms where someone might
9:59 speak unnaturally fast for dramatic or comedic effect. And yes,
10:04 there are many English speakers who speak extremely fast that doesn't make them good communicators. In fact,
10:13 they may speak so quickly that fellow native English speakers don't really understand everything they say. Let me say all of that again.
10:22 Yes, some English speakers do speak really fast, but that doesn't make them effective communicators. In fact,
10:27 some other Native English speakers might not understand anything that they say, Ooh, that's really hard for me to do,
10:33 and did it sound clear, confident and fluent to you? It definitely sounded fast, but was it good communication?
10:43 No. The reality is fluency is about smooth, natural, clear communication with you in control.
10:53 When I was speaking super fast just a moment ago, I did not feel like I was in control.
10:59 My brain was chaotic and I knew that I was probably making some mistakes while I was speaking,
11:05 but I couldn't catch them and I couldn't prevent them because I wasn't giving myself any time to organize my thoughts and be careful about
11:15 what I wanted to say. Again, fluency is about smooth, natural, clear communication with you in control.
11:24 So what is some practical advice you can follow to make progress in this area? Aim for clarity over speed.
11:32 When you speak as I demonstrated, speaking quickly isn't the same as speaking clearly.
11:39 To improve your clarity and overall fluency, aim to use little pauses while you're speaking.
11:46 If you listen to me carefully, you'll notice I use them quite a bit. I use them in between sentences. If I have a long sentence,
11:55 I might use them in between groups of words or a single thought. I'll also use them before and after words that I really
12:05 want to highlight. Every time I make one of those pauses, it's giving me a few things. It's giving me time to breathe,
12:15 which is super important. It also helps to maintain a sense of calm, so I think more clearly it allows me to think briefly
12:25 about the next thing that I want to say, whether it's the right word, the right grammar structure or the right pronunciation.
12:33 This is true in my native language and in my second language. Lastly, it brings clarity to my speech. It is smooth,
12:42 it's natural sounding, and it's clear for you to understand. That's important.
12:48 If you and I are going to have a conversation or if I want to share something important with you in this lesson,
12:55 I need to make sure that my speech is easy for others to understand. If I speak too fast all the time,
13:02 you're going to miss all of the important details. I'm not going to be able to breathe and I'm gonna lose my focus very quickly.
13:12 I'll also make a ton of mistakes. Now, if you're not sure about this, I've got a challenge for you.
13:18 I also want you to go watch a skilled public speaker. It could be someone you admire on a podcast or a Ted Talk speaker,
13:26 and once again, you'll notice that skilled communicators embrace using these
13:32 pauses. If you'd like to learn a little bit more about how to use the power of the
13:38 pause, I've got a lesson for you titled Speak So Others Listen, and if you'd love to learn and practice using pauses with me,
13:48 definitely check out My Fluency School program. Myth number three is confident speakers never seek clarification.
13:57 In fact, you might worry that by asking others to clarify what they've said, it's showing some sign of weakness or lack of confidence.
14:06 However, the opposite is true. Confident speakers don't hesitate to ask for clarification. In fact,
14:15 it shows that they are fully engaged in the conversation and committed to understanding.
14:22 This is also a sign of active listening in English speaking culture. Some practical steps you can take here is to practice asking for clarification.
14:32 Do it in conversations with people you feel comfortable with so that you feel comfortable using specific phrases and questions
14:41 As you get comfortable with them, you're more likely to use them in context when you truly need
14:47 to understand or get clarification on what was said. Some phrases I love to use when I need to seek clarification might be helpful
14:57 to you as well. Number one, sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Would you mind repeating what you said? Number two,
15:05 I'm not sure I'm following you. Could you explain what you mean by or could you give me an example of what you
15:11 mean by that? And number three, would you mind saying that again? I want to make sure I've understood perfectly whether you're listening to
15:19 someone give you instructions at work, having a discussion on a family matter or debating a topic with someone.
15:26 All of these phrases are appropriate to use when you need to get clarification, and if you'd love to get more examples,
15:34 I have a full lesson on this titled 13 Ways to Clarify When You Don't Understand, I'll leave a link to that in the notes below the video.
15:42 And now myth number four, confident speakers don't have setbacks.
15:48 They don't make mistakes and they don't fumble over their words. Oh my goodness,
15:53 this one is definitely a myth because I know that I fumble over my words, make mistakes, lose my train of thought all the time.
16:02 My team can tell you that's true. My students can tell you that's true. When we're in spontaneous conversations,
16:10 our brain doesn't always communicate to our mouth and we can't always say exactly what we wanted to say in the moment. We forget things,
16:19 we trip or fumble or lose control over our words. Our mind goes blank, we lose our train of thought. These things happen.
16:30 They happen to everyone, even the most skilled communicators. Now, when you practice consistently,
16:38 you can prevent that from happening more often. You can maintain better control when you're speaking,
16:46 and you can learn to regain control in those moments when you feel like you've totally lost what you wanted to say. In fact,
16:55 I had to do that recently inside my Confident Women Community, I was sharing an update on how to use a progress journal,
17:04 and while I was speaking, I forgot the word journal. Journal, this is such an easy word, but my mind went blank.
17:13 I couldn't remember the word journal to describe this progress journal. So for a brief moment, I felt a little bit of panic.
17:24 I felt silly and embarrassed, but then I used the skills.
17:30 I know I have to regain control. First, I took a deep breath. I just tried to calm down.
17:37 Then I tried to find an alternative word that I could use to describe this document,
17:43 and in the process while I was explaining it in another way, the word came to me that happened because I stopped panicking.
17:52 I just calmed down and found a way to move forward. This is a skill that you can develop with practice,
18:00 and more importantly, confidence comes from the knowledge and the ability to overcome
18:06 setbacks. So here's some practical advice, practice speaking where it is safe to make those mistakes and it's safe for you
18:16 to practice using skills that help you overcome those mistakes. As a perfectionist and as an introvert,
18:25 I prefer to organize all the details in my mind, have everything ready to go,
18:30 and I want to feel prepared when it's time for me to speak. I don't like making mistakes and I don't like the advice
18:40 that I should just go practice with anybody and not worry about mistakes. The truth is I do worry about them and I don't want to make them,
18:51 but they do happen. They always will, and it's perfectly natural to feel annoyed, frustrated,
18:58 maybe even silly or embarrassed. When they do, when mistakes happen in the moment of speaking,
19:06 the best thing that you can do is pause briefly, take a deep breath to calm down and regain control.
19:14 Give your brain that moment of time to speak, and you can either correct the mistake or move past it. For example,
19:22 you can go back and you can clarify if necessary. You can do that using a sentence starter such as, oh,
19:29 what I meant to say was Another option is to apologize for the mistake if necessary and correct it. For example, oh, I'm sorry,
19:38 what I meant to say was, or, oh, I'm sorry. I wanted to say, and then continue. If you're comfortable,
19:46 you could even make a joke out of the situation. For example, sorry, I think I had too much coffee this morning. If it's a more casual circumstance,
19:55 you can simply say, oh, sorry, I made a mistake. I meant to say, and then insert the word or idea you wanted to use.
20:03 That's exactly what I did when I forgot that word journal. Now, on top of all of that, there's one more thing I said that's very important,
20:12 and that is to find a place where you feel safe. Practicing a safe place where you can practice speaking,
20:18 allow yourself to make mistakes when they happen and learn how to overcome them. So I encourage you to find a speaking community where you feel safe
20:28 practicing with others. Perhaps there's someone that you work with or a neighbor you have that you enjoy
20:35 speaking with and you feel safe practicing with them. Earlier I highlighted my How to Get the Confidence to Say What You Want
20:44 training, and in that training I also talk through how you can feel more prepared
20:50 and overcome making mistakes in the moment. I also give you a practical way to get speaking practice no matter where
20:58 you live, when you practice consistently, you will reduce mistakes going forward and you'll feel more
21:07 comfortable overcoming them in the moment when they happen. And finally, myth number five, you either have confidence or you don't.
21:17 This is a very all or nothing perspective, and it assumes that if you don't feel confident right now,
21:24 it's not possible for you to get there, but that isn't true. Confidence is a hundred percent absolutely no doubt about it
21:34 possible for you. Every confident speaker started at the beginning.
21:40 They learned the basics of clear communication. They practiced consistently.
21:47 They observed their skills and learned how to overcome mistakes in the moment, and they continued to practice and practice and practice to
21:57 sharpen their communication skills. Even after gaining confidence, a confident speaker will continue to practice because they have the mindset that
22:07 there's always an opportunity to improve, and with the right skills,
22:13 with the right support structures in place with appropriate practice, they will make those improvements. At least this is true for me,
22:21 and it's true for every skilled communicator I know. The truth is when you listen to a skilled public speaker or an excellent
22:30 podcaster or a coworker who sounds perfectly fluent in English, what you are hearing is their highlight reel,
22:39 not all the months and years of preparation that got them to that moment.
22:46 Confidence is nurtured and developed over time through practice and exposure to different situations and conversations.
22:56 So here's my practical advice. Embrace the confidence building learning cycle no matter
23:04 what it might be. Learning to play the piano, learning to play tennis training to run a marathon, preparing for an art show,
23:12 learning to draw, do ceramics. There is a natural learning process and a natural process to gaining
23:18 confidence in any skill. This confidence building cycle is learn to inform your
23:26 action, to improve your ability to shift your self beliefs,
23:32 to build your confidence, to motivate your continued learning. Do you notice that this confidence learning cycle doesn't say, learn and wait.
23:43 Wait for motivation, wait to feel prepared, wait for confidence, wait for progress, and then take action.
23:51 No confidence, motivation, and progress all come from taking action.
23:58 This means the best thing that you can do to gain confidence in anything including speaking English,
24:05 is to take action and then do it again and do it again and do it again. Let me give you eight recommendations for how you can start to take action
24:16 and get speaking practice right now. Number one, download that training.
24:22 I told you about the training on How to Get the Confidence to Say What You Want in English, because with that training, I have a bonus,
24:29 a four-week speaking practice program that will help you develop a meaningful habit and make progress. Number two,
24:38 join an English speaking community. This could be an online speaking club or an in-person,
24:44 English speaking meetup. Number three, join a club or a volunteer organization. For example,
24:51 you could join a book club in English, or as one of my Confident Women Community members did,
24:56 you can become a volunteer at a local art gallery. Number four, find a language coach or teacher you trust and feel comfortable with
25:06 and take a speaking class with them, whether it's online or in person. Number five,
25:12 ask a coworker or neighbor to meet with you regularly for speaking practice. This is something I did while I was living in France.
25:20 I found someone I felt comfortable with. We agreed to meet one time a week to practice,
25:25 and we spent 30 minutes of time practicing French for me and 30 minutes of time practicing English for her. Number six,
25:34 listen to a podcast or a TED talk in English. While you listen, write down new words or phrases that you'd love to add to your vocabulary.
25:44 When you're finished, practice summarizing out loud what you heard in that podcast or Ted talk and
25:52 review those words that you want to include as well. Aim to include that vocabulary while you're summarizing what you learned.
26:00 Number seven, talk to yourself out loud in English when no one is listening. This is something I love to do.
26:07 I often talk to myself in French out loud in my house when I'm alone, while cooking dinner or when I'm driving my car.
26:16 And idea number eight, join a speaking focused organization. An organization such as Toastmasters.
26:23 The most important thing is to do what you can to take action. Start small, expand your comfort zone slowly,
26:31 and work with others who will support you and encourage you. When you do all of that, you'll enjoy improved abilities,
26:40 renewed motivation, increased confidence, and better fluency. In this lesson today,
26:47 I shared with you several options you have for taking that next step. So here's a question I have for you.
26:55 What is the action step you are committed to taking? What is one thing you can do this week to take action
27:03 in your English share with me down below? I would love to cheer you on and help you take that next step. With that,
27:11 if you found this lesson helpful to you, I would love to know and you can tell me in a few ways. Number one,
27:17 you can give this a thumbs up on YouTube. You could subscribe to the Speak Confident English Channel so you never miss one
27:24 of my weekly lessons. And number three, you can drop a comment down below. Thank you so much for joining me, and I look forward to seeing you next time.